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beaniesister:

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(if you could reblog this that would be awesome lol)

(via beaniesister)

#81 Crossing Over.
I’ve been reading about death and rebirth lately.  Some describe death as a form of limbo.  A space between spaces.  A checkpoint with a very long line up.  The thing is, while you’re waiting in line you’re forced to hold your breath.  You feel yourself wither away, getting smaller and smaller.  Soon you’re unrecognizable as your former self.  A light appears.  You wonder if heaven is real.  And it all starts again.
This photo is my take on the in-between.

#80 Perspective

Hi,

I just want to take a quick moment to let everyone know that I’m okay. I’ve received a lot of kind words and advice over the last couple of days and I can’t say thank you enough.
I’ve been feeling this way for a very long time and it always gets progressively worse until it’s like a small reset button gets pushed. I’ve decided that I’m going to begin seeing a councilor to hopefully uncover the roots of what I’m going through.
Again, thank you all for your kindness. I guess it really does help to reach out, even to the vast sea that is the internet.
-Steven

#79 Existence
Everything around me feels more real than I feel.

#78 Untitled

#77 Aging
My most recent moments of self doubt and anxiety have been caused in part by how old I am.  It’s been three years since I first went to the University of Victoria.  Had I stuck with my original plan I’d be finishing a degree this summer.  Instead I quit.  I felt too much pressure, stopped going to one of my classes and failed a final.  This is the first time I’ve ever admitted that publicly. I’ve been so afraid to go back after what happened that I’ve just been coasting through, riding off my parents coattails.  I keep telling myself it’s okay because I’m working, but if my family decided to kick me out I wouldn’t be able to afford the price of rent and food.  I’m twenty years old now and I’m still reliant on others.  You would think by now that I would be able to have my own standing in the world, or at least be better known in my career as a photographer but  one of the reasons I started the 365 is because I wasn’t getting any work from that career.  No one seems to want me for the one thing I’m good at and it hurts.

#76 A Terrible Terrible
I went to the Vancouver Art Galley today.  An exhibit entitled A Terrible Beauty was showcasing one of my favourite photographers, Edward Burtynsky.  His use of large scale landscapes, deadpan scenes and subtle hints of human presence is incredible.  In tribute I decided to try and create my own Burtynsky inspired shot.  It’s not exactly great, but it has me inspired to try it again.

#75 Shot
Summary of how I’ve been feeling recently.

#74 “Let me in!”

#73 Untitled

#72 Data Cloud
"It [washed] the highlights out of [his] hair!" - Young Neil, paraphrased.

#71 Inside the Cocoon

#70 Forest Dance // vi
Trapped, closed in, fight back, or sleep.

#69 Forest Dance // v
Tethers, tendrils, eating, consuming.